Let’s imagine for a moment that you are at the office of the Dr., let say a Phd in Psychologist or NeuroPsychologist. You know that you or your child is different, there is something atypical; but you cannot pin point the name of it. The Dr. start speaking, you hear his/her words but your heart is in denial; for some reason you know what he/she’s saying, but you do not understand emotional meaning of it.

I recently receive my 5th diagnosis of neurodiversity. At my 18th I found I had Dyslexia, at my 33 ADHD, at my 34 Dyscalculia and Dysgraphia and now… Autism!

I will never guest it! 🤷🏼‍♀️ Autistic… 🤯 Wow…, to be honest I still processing the emotions. For me this si so interesting one side of me, the intelectual part of Hansell, understand all the information, the ADOS-2, the interview, my background as a child and more, everything makes sense BUT… the emotions!

They are another story! …another side of the journey.

…always keep in mind that;

You are not your diagnosis!

I hardly remember the emotions of my 1st diagnosis, but for some reason I vividly remember the confusion and the denial of my ADHD diagnosis. I don’t now why it was so hard for me to digest it.

I had this mix feeling, “COULD THIS BE TRUTH?!”.

Some part of me felt like a an excuse, like a big lie, it wasn’t into I first started to used amphetamine’s that and for the first time on my life I was mentally and fully present the NOW. It was in that moment that I finally understood.
Yes, I am ADHD! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am not sure how I could explain it, but let’s try this analogy:

Imagine a small child lets say five or six years old, and for the first time, he/she start wearing eye glasses 🤓 on the way back home he/she notes that ‘Mama’ have hair on her arms and eyes, he sees the letter on the street sings and he just discover a new reality.

Well!
Something like this was when I did start using amphetamines for my ADHD, instead of eye glass; was a balance of Dopamine and Norepinephrine in the Bio-Chemistry of my brain 🧠 .

During one of the interviews with Dr. Ismarie Soto, my Psychologies specialist in Autism, she told me something like this:

“The most challenging aspect of my work is delivering diagnoses to parents. Recently, I had to inform two parents that their only child was autistic. The profound sadness etched on their faces spoke volumes, as their hopes and dreams for their child’s future seemed to crumble before my eyes. The vision of their pride and joy growing up, getting married, and leading a successful life was shattered in an instant.”

Let say for a moment that you or someone you love is in the process of receiving a diagnosis or you just receive it and you just found out that in fact you or someone you love is neurodivergent.

“Here are some tips I’d like to share with you: firstly, remember that you are not defined by your diagnosis. Life can be challenging, and it’s not always easy to keep moving forward; but it’s
man-da-tory!.

I can’t provide empirical evidence for what I’m about to say, but I’ve always held the belief that we are here for a purpose. Throughout my life, I’ve been on a quest for truth, seeking to understand the deeper meaning behind our existence. Why are we here? Is there anything beyond this life, or is this all there is? While I may not have concrete proof of my beliefs, I hold onto the conviction that our souls have a purpose, a plan that extends beyond our earthly existence.”

Regardless of what it is and regardless of what you think it is, the reality is that life is hard. Sometimes it’s very hard; I feel like my life had been a struggle, but for some reason that, I cannot fully explain this 5th and last diagnosis had made set me free.


I do not know if you ever heard about this remarkable book called: The Course of Miracles. If you ever have the opportunity to read it or to join a study group do it you won’t regret it.

The book describes that before we are born, we chose the perfect body for the journey that we chose before we start living. Maybe this is not truth; who knows I had been wrong before and I could be wrong again. Maybe every aspect of life it’s just a big accident. Maybe there is no purpose, no journey, no before nor after this life, but for some reason this idea doesn’t feel real.

One of my greatest heroes of life Dr. Cars Sagan he used to say:
I don’t want to believe I just want to know.

I believe is freedom in the knowing!, I had to wait all my life for me to finally have answers. From my point of view, if you are a parent, and you have just found out that your child is Autistic
-I envy you 🤷🏼‍♀️ or should I say I am envy your child.

You have on your hands The Gift of Knowing, Please don’t waste it. Life is too short to feel victims, to fell trap of the what if?, or the why me?

… and always remember, you are not your diagnosis!

On August 21, 2017 at 20:33 AST near by the Ocean Park beach 🏝️ in San Juan, PR. In one of the Full-moon ceremonies that back on those days I used to visit I burn 🔥 my full Medical 🏥 Record.

This was my attent to mentally and emotionally let the believe that I couldn’t be functional.